First Touch

from Journey of the Heart

Unable to sit still for long, especially when she didn't know what was going on, Ghet had gone wandering. She'd left the village eventually, and it was in a stand of trees further down the valley that she'd found Galain. She was startled, and then not so much. There was something, something about him, and that meant there had to not be. Given the way her life went, it made perfect sense that she would be stumbling over someone she should be keeping away from.

She watched him for a moment, pushing back a stray lock of hair the wind had pulled from her braid. "So, not to sound too much like a sixteen year old, but what are you going to tell your dad?"

Galain turned to regard Ghetsuhm. He might have heard her approach, but he hadn't realized it would be her and not anyone else. He was struck by her appearance -- she might not realize it, but the climate here made her appear to bloom. The elf gave her a rueful smile and shook his head.

"I have absolutely no idea. If I remained true to character, I'd never return to Alcarinque -- I'd just take off and avoid things. And that wouldn't do anybody any good... not Mercy, not Laurealin, not myself even." He ran a hand through his hair and looked upward into the tree branches. "I'm just going to tell him the truth and then I'll backpedal out the door as fast as I can." He barked a short laugh and grinned at Ghetsuhm. It was a funny thing, but he felt drawn toward the woman in a way he couldn't quite put his finger on. Oh there was definitely the usual sort of attraction he felt for a beautiful woman, but there was something else as well. He quickly looked away and laughed again. "Unlike my father, I can actually take no for answer, most of the time."

Ghet snickered. "I don't know, it's not a strength of mine, and I can't think you've had that much practice at it. Running away now... I didn't get all the way out here in, no offense, the arse end of nowhere by standing my ground. I just..." She blushed, her habitual confidence dropping away. "I'm glad. I'm glad she's found what she wants and she can take it. And I'm glad you don't have to marry her."

She moved away a little and settled with her back against a tree. "I think... you know, I think you and I are more alike than people might think. Well, no, perhaps as alike as people might think, but in a different way. It looks like a party all the time, like we can take whatever we want and move on, but... well. I am what I am, by birth and training, and that means there are some things I can never have." She looked at him, intent, her eyes unwontedly serious. "And it doesn't matter how I feel. All I can do is cause myself more pain. When I see you with An'Thaya..." She shook her head, dropping her gaze. "I would not be strong enough to do it, to be near her and not be able to touch her."

“It’s hell,” Galain admitted softly. He had hopes of somehow defying the odds one day and reuniting with An’Thaya. Ghetsuhm had broken through his bravado in one dead-on verbal punch. It was actually hard to take no for an answer when denied something or someone one really wanted. He reached out to touch one of the trees, felt its thrumming life beneath his hand and smiled. It was a content creature that had lived a long life and would live a longer one yet in this amazing valley. It had no needs except for the nutrients provided by the dirt its roots grew deeply into and the water and the sun that came from above. The smile had left his face, replaced with a more thoughtful expression. The breeze had picked up again and soughed softly amongst the branches.

“It’s amazing how many people think I was born with a party hat on my head,” he said after a moment. “But you’re right – whatever you’ve been born as and trained to do, whatever I’ve been born as and trained to do, it’s what runs us in the end, not what we want. And… sometimes it’s just easier to run away, to find another way around things.” A smile slowly stole its away back onto Galain’s face and he stepped forward and held out his hand, almost reaching forward to brush at the stray hairs the breeze had picked up.

“It’s nice to find a kindred spirit,” he said. “Especially when you’ve not been looking for one.”

"Yeah, well, that's when life likes to smack you upside the head, when you're not looking." Reaching out, Ghet took his hand, raised it to her face, and kissed the back of it. "I could wish I didn't know, though. If she wasn't around..."

She laid Galain's hand against her cheek and smiled, but there was a wry bleakness to her expression. "But now I do know, and that will always be there even if she isn't. Pity really, because believe me, a little ignorance at this point would have been really quite something." She looked up at him, a hint of purple in white-shot blue eyes. "I'm not a nice person, did I mention that? A kind girl would have kept her mouth shut and pined quietly."

The Elen gazed steadily into Ghetsuhm's remarkable eyes and felt his chest clench tightly inside. A little ignorance indeed, he thought wryly.

"Kind and nice... those are adjectives for little old ladies who knit socks for their grandchildren," he said. "I've never been much interested in little old ladies." He smiled at her, unaware of a small crease that had appeared between his brows. He squeezed her hand then and shook his head.

"Hell of a thing when you have to tell your own self no," he suddenly said.

Ghet's smile was impish. If she concentrated right on this moment, she didn't have to think about what the hell she was doing. Her terror of deep emotion would send him on his way, but her ego couldn't do that without making him suffer first. "So don't," she said, leaning in to him. "Tell me no instead. And I'll tell you." She lifted her face and kissed him very gently on the mouth.

Galain was so astonished he froze where he stood, his lips tingling and his eyes dilating. She smelled absolutely wonderful and tasted... he blinked and gave her a look of pure dismay.

"No..." he said softly, the word filled with regret and desire. Then his expression cleared a little more and he made a strangled noise. "That wasn't fair," he said. "Not fair at all..." He tapped the tip of her nose and then drew her into a return kiss that was nowhere near as gentle as the one she'd given him. Then he drew away, a grim look on his face. There was something deeply complex going on here and he had to stop.

"Now tell me," he said.

That was some kiss, and Ghet was vaguely glad that the wind had already made her face flush. "Fair. You can talk," she said huskily, maintaining a steadying grip on his arms. "And if you can still talk..."

She reached up, her fingers brushing his cheekbone. Those eyes: green? blue? grey? So sad. Sadness that she could make go away, just for a little while. And surely a little while was better than nothing.

And in that moment, if she'd thought she could have got up and walked away afterwards with her heart intact, she would have done it. Given him her body to ease his pain. Well, that and to give her enormous pleasure, of course. Because it would, she could tell that from his kiss.

Ghet lowered her hand, her nails tracing the lines of his chest, slipping beneath his vest. "I am the most unfair fickle bitch you will ever meet," she said softly, her eyes on his. "If you keep me round, I'll drive you completely crazy. Anything to stop you getting close to me. If I were you, I'd just stay the hell away from me. Wait, no I wouldn't, I'm an idiot. But you should. So... no."

Her lips twisted in a wry smile. "My gods. Do you know how many people have said 'no' to me before?"

Galain closed his eyes slowly, reopened them and when he tried to speak again, found that his voice was only half there.

"No -- " his voiced cracked, "idea." How many idiots would have told her no? He couldn't believe he'd done it. He couldn't believe it. He had no idea how he'd ever stay away from her. He couldn't imagine it and so he'd have to find something creative. Something smart. That would take a lot of looking. Oh gods, a lot of looking.

Ghet's expression was full of mischief. The humour was distancing. "Well, it's a rough estimate, you understand, but I believe it's somewhere around 'none at all'. And if I say no, in general that just makes people more insistent. Although that too may not have happened often enough for an accurate sample."

She leaned forward and kissed his chest, over his heart, and stepped back. "I guess we're going to have to find some kind of distancing device. Because I don't think anyone is ever going to threaten to kill you if you touch me. For the moment, we should go back. Have all those nice other people around." She held her hand out to him, a kind of wry hopelessness on her face. "I won't tell if you won't."

Galain clapped a hand to his forehead, groaning just a little. He shook his head and unconsciously touched the skin over his heart.

"I'm not saying a word," he said, glancing at her and smiling crookedly. No one had ever said no? Only he? He was a complete idiot. Of course the perverse part of him was a little pleased. Only he had said no! but that also made him frown. She was right though -- a distancing device of some sort was necessary. He was sure they'd stumble over something convenient. Soon. Immediately. His thoughts were tumbling over each other, so he simply took Ghetsuhm's hand and squeezed it before they headed back toward the village and all those 'nice other people' as she had termed it.